by Erin Reags

Dear Friends,

I am writing this because lately I have been thinking a lot about who I am. I wonder how I got here, if I have a purpose, what makes me, me.

Some days I flit from being carefree with a come-what-may, live-in-the-moment attitude, and sometimes I need answers. What is my purpose? Is there fate? Why am I the way I am? There’s been nights where I’ve thought about it so much, it’s 4 am and the weight of the world, with its unjustified silence, is dragging me down. And other nights I couldn’t care less, it’s 4 am and I’m out with my friends, getting black-out drunk, screaming Drake’s ‘The Motto’ lyrics.

But still, when I’m sober, I will wonder if my parents made me, me. Did my upbringing? My society? What shaped me? Am I interesting? Am I funny? Will I achieve anything? Do I want to be remembered by many, or will just one person count? Where am I going? What do I want?

I constantly feel like a teenager who has been thrust into adult life with no clue as to who she is, or what she wants.

I think everyone has these questions, and the same feelings. But what I’ve come to understand is that who you are, can only come from within you. You can choose who you want to be. Memories can make you and shape you, but ultimately you can choose. You can be selfless and caring, or selfish and uncaring. You can be a do-er, an achiever, or not. You have a choice, and it’s so beautiful in its simplicity because no other species we know of gets that choice.

“This is who I am, and I like me. I hope you do too.”

If you’re stuck on what choice you want to make for yourself, how you want to conduct your life, think of your favourite person. Why are they your favourite? What do they do that makes you so in awe of them? Pick out your top five favourite traits: now practice doing them, and you soon will become your favourite person too.

In a world desperately trying to make you hate yourself, don’t let it.

That’s who I am, that’s who I aim to be. Someone who doesn’t judge and loves herself enough so other people don’t have to.

I implore you; pick your characteristics – be your own hero, don’t let your past or others people’s opinions define you. Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘People can only make you feel inferior with your consent,’ and I think that’s a message people often forget.

I probably won’t ever really know the answers to some of my questions, like if there is a path already laid out for me, and if everything happens for a reason, but as long as I try to be the best person I can be – then who gives a shit?

This is who I am, and I like me. I hope you do too.

Thanks for listening,


(P.S. you’re wonderful) x

Erin Reags |

Support Dear Damsels

Words are empowering – not only for the women who write them, but those who read them too.

Join our Patreon and help us continue to offer an inclusive and welcoming space for women to come together, share their words, and get a resounding response back.

Sign up to our Patreon