Limericks for the Lunchtime Dieters

How's that #eatclean diet working out for you? Take some lyrical motivation from these limericks.

What do you do when following a strict January diet and faced with a bake sale? You write motivation limericks of course! For all of you who need some creation as a means of motivation, we present an email exchange between two co-workers during a tempting afternoon.

From: olivia.allen@fakemail.com

Sent: 11 January 2016 14:29

To: kitty.stogdon@fakemail.com

Subject: Monday limericks

When faced with a tempting bake sale,

Say ‘fuck these cakes’ and just bail.

Although they may seem enticing,

With their sponge, cream and icing,

You’ll be healthier sticking with kale.

________________

From: olivia.allen@fakemail.com

Sent: 11 January 2016 14:37

To: kitty.stogdon@fakemail.com

Subject: RE: Monday limericks

There once was a table of sweets,

A variety of delectable eats,

But alas all that gluten

Is worse than Vlad Putin

Say no to the despicable wheat!

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From: kitty.stogdon@fakemail.com

Sent: 11 January 2016 14:50

To: olivia.allen@fakemail.com

Subject: RE: Monday limericks

At the end of work on Monday

There’s nothing I want more than a sundae

I may go home and freeze

Bananas in threes

And make my Monday a fun day!

––––––––––––––––––––

From: kitty.stogdon@fakemail.com

Sent: 11 January 2016 15:09

To: olivia.allen@fakemail.com

Subject: RE: Monday limericks

You know it’s the end of the day

When you’re feeling inclined to say

“I give up, let me leave!”

But fear not, for this eve

Is the final one before payday!

–––––––––––––––

From: kitty.stogdon@fakemail.com

Sent: 11 January 2016 15:21

To: olivia.allen@fakemail.com

Subject: RE: Monday limericks

Making rhymes is seriously addictive

About anything! It’s hardly restrictive…

My mind’s on a roll

And it’s good for my soul

So I’ll continue to create all things fictive.