by Maria Ilona Moore
Did you know that snowdrops survive winter
because their sap contains a form of antifreeze?
I wish I could have my own human version
so the cold didn’t drag me down so much
so that it didn’t claw at my bones
or clutch at my lungs
or make my breath sharp and my mind dull.
It’s not even that cold in England, I know
but it’s dark and damp and long
It tugs you
It tells you to
But not in a youshouldrelax kind of way
more a don’twritedon’teatdon’tworkdon’tgetoutofbed kind of way.
And you feel stuck
and you feel a shadow coming
and you feel so very cold.
But then, at last, a change:
Yesterday I sat in the sun
unbuttoned my coat
took off my scarf
closed my eyes
let warmth wash over and felt
the promise of spring on my skin.
Like when you see the first crocuses
or garlands of blossom on bare branches
or daffodils one pound a bunch in Morrisons
And you remember
spring is around the corner and with it
the knowledge that this will pass
that your bones and your mind and your soul will thaw
that the seasons will shift
and so will your shadow.
Maria Ilona Moore | tinyletter.com/sorryiforgot
Maria lives in London and likes to write about her feelings a lot. She is currently working on Sorry I Forgot – a fortnightly TinyLetter about remembering, forgetting, and some other things she’s not quite sure about.