by Sarah-Louise Kelly
If I were the type to breathe easy when speaking plainly about feeling, I’d tell you that the world terrifies me. I’d tell you that every tall building that I clamber to the top of brings to mind earthquakes, terrorist attacks, dying in a soulless building filled with soulless stores selling empty dreams and meaningless trinkets.
If I were the type to give a ‘that’s just how it is’ shrug with every hard truth, I’d tell you that I’ve never fallen out of love. That every lover holds a slight part of my heart and their long-forgotten words still sound like melodies to me.
“If I were the type to ever feel comfortable at all, I’d tell you I’m always waiting for the fall.”
If I were the type to to live carefree and never worrying what you’ll think about me, I’d tell you that I’m afraid I’m too sensitive for this world. I’m 28 years old but I’m still a little girl. I’m afraid of people, places and everything in between but please, keep that between you and me.
If I were the type to ever feel comfortable at all, I’d tell you I’m always waiting for the fall. For the drop, for the last gasp of breath. With every corner turned, I’m expecting the end.
I’ll never feel comfortable in any way at all. The world is loud and big and often, I am too small.
Sarah-Louise Kelly is a writer based in Glasgow.